People tend to respect, value, admire and listen to compelling communicators. But good communication does not come naturally to all. It requires a particular skill set that, unfortunately, most people don't learn in school. Effective communication means being able to speak and listen purposefully. Taking the time to learn proper communication skills, like listening and asking questions, is a worthwhile investment that can grow and nourish your interpersonal relationships.
Planning Your Words and Delivery:
Planning how you communicate does not necessarily mean sitting down with a pen and paper and writing a speech. It entails carefully thinking about the intended message and reaction you hope to get from your friend or family member. Identify and address any of your negative feelings before speaking to avoid speaking out of anger or frustration. The healthiest communicators know how to take responsibility for their negative feelings by using "I statements" containing a feeling and need, rather than blaming the other person or making blanket statements
Using Therapist-Worthy Listening Skills:
Therapists have a common trick up their sleeves, and it does not require a Ph.D.; they all know how to actively listen. Active listening requires being completely present with the person who is speaking without thinking about what you will say in response. It consists of withholding premature judgments before getting all the facts. It entails empathy -- truly feeling what the other is feeling -- and mirroring and paraphrasing their feelings and needs back to them to ensure you are understanding them.
Asking Questions
People ask questions for several different reasons in communication: to obtain information, fuel conversation, acquire another's opinion, ascertain agreement, establish rapport and trust and verify information. Want someone to have a favourable opinion of you? Ask them questions! People love talking about themselves. Use the funnel technique: Start with broad questions and then get to more specific ones. Just be sure to avoid offensive, leading or manipulative questions in your communication.
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